Ellery Queen

Title: A Sad State of Affairs
Author: Sherlockian

"You know what your problem is, birdy?"

"I'm all alone in the world, and the only person I talk to about anything besides work is an immature ex-villain who pisses off my big brother and wouldn't know common sense if it bit him on the nose?" Tim sucked up some of his strawberry milkshake, looking strangely unconcerned by the dire state of affairs.

Owen paused. "I was going to say that you're a workaholic, but that's about it, yeah." He sprawled in the Waffle House booth and Tim tried not to imagine what Bruce would have said (if Bruce were alive) about meeting the fuck-up ex-villain son of Captain Boomerang, while in civvies and in the middle of broad daylight. Owen picked up a fry and looked at Tim with a thoughtful expression, as though he was trying to decide what the chances were of getting away with throwing it.

Slim to none was the answer. Tim quirked an eyebrow and went back to his milkshake. Owen's treat, since he'd lost the bet with Tim about how long it would take the Titans to round Jericho up again.

"Are you sure you don't want help with the whole 'Gotham is going crazy' thing?" Owen popped the fry in his mouth instead of chucking it at Tim's head. "Gotham," he intoned, trying to sound dark and foreboding, "is in dire straights. With Batman gone, who will fill the Dark Knight's cowl? How will the Batfamily keep chaos from taking over?" Tim opened his mouth to retort and then decided that there wasn't really anything to be said. He took another sip of his drink instead. "C'mon, I'm good for it, and you're probably a better boss than Waller."

"Oh, is that it? Gotham's dark, crazy and chaotic, but I'm better than the Suicide Squad?" Tim reached out and flicked a fry at Owen's face. Owen caught it and took a bite.

"Pretty much, yeah. You're the light at the end of my tunnel, birdboy."

"You're more fucked than I can say."